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What Causes the Most Stress in Your Relationship?

According to the research done by Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Dr. James Witte, and Chrisanna Northrup, 24% of women said communication and 23% of men said emotional connection.

I found this finding to be extremely interesting because it is a pure indication of how men and women could be different in their perception and priorities. Women’s communication styles are different than that of men. Women like to talk and use language extensively to express their feelings. They communicate with their body more than men do. They also want men to converse with them and express their feelings exactly as their girlfriends do. But, men don’t talk as much as women want them to, which cause frustration and sometimes loneliness for women. Another cause for communication to be a major cause of stress for women is what I posted in an earlier blog post titled: “What’s the Big Deal!” Interpreting what he says to be different than what he intends it to mean! In addition, women who are unable to express themselves freely become frustrated, depressed, and lonely.

As for men to report that emotional connection is a major cause of stress for them would be understandable when we just learned that communication is an issue with women. See the connection, or actually the disconnection. This is one point. Another point has to do with men being at work away from their women who, in turn, might be at work as well or at home with the children. Especially the latter, men feel left out if the woman is giving all her attention to her children. When a man doesn’t feel that he is number one to his wife, he becomes jealous even from the children unconsciously, because they are taking her away from him. Consequently, he acts in a different way than his normal and complains about the lack of emotional connection with the one he loves.

Both communication and emotional connection are related. I mentioned both briefly to give a quick feel of where the stress could be from. Well, there is a great deal of self-evaluation and analysis of individual cases to be able to uncover what are the true reasons that underlie their complaints.

Comments (6)

Interesting! As I was reading, I was applying it to my relationship as a parent with my preteen son.
    Great Jeanine! It's learn by doing! The best kind of learning. The advantage here is that your son will also benefit! Thank you!
That is a good brief look. Communication with my husband used to be really difficult and caused some problems. We've since worked out how both of us prefer to talk and open up and what each other needs and it really helps.
    Nothing beats clarity and focus in communication. Alexandria, if you and your husband were to be taught certain tools and skills to deal with many issues that new couples find challenging, would you think you would have gone through? Free expression, unconditional love, and relationship awareness are keys to success. Thank you for your comments!
Very interesting...and true! I can definitely see that in my own relationship with my husband. I wish he'd talk more, and he'd probably wish I was more emotionally connected. But, it's hard after giving so much emotional attention to the kids all day and dealing with their needs. Something for me to think about!
    Kirsten, there are many ways for both of you to emotionally connect and to communicate better even with a dozen kids playing around. Blocking time for just the two of you is essential to maintain sanity and connectedness between you and your husband. I teach my clients many techniques and gestures to use with their fiancé to keep the spark and live happily ever after!! Thank you for your insightful comment.

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