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Long Distance Relationships

Engaged couples that have to live apart for long periods of time, find challenges in keeping their relationship alive and vibrant. In a long distance relationship statistics showed the total percentage of engaged couples that have been in a long distance relationship was 75%. It would have been beneficial if the organization that conducted the statistics followed up and reported how many actually got married and how many didn’t.

Long distance relationships are challenging. It takes a high level of commitment and determination to make it succeed. What are some important actions to follow to ensure its success?

1Stay connected by any means possible. Skype is an excellent choice to use its video capability to see each other. There are other programs available like ooVoo and Messenger as well. Use the most convenient and user friendly for both of you. Text messaging is another way to stay connect all day long. When you send short love texts or stickers to your mate it gives her the feeling you’re thinking about her and that she is more important than whatever you’re doing at the moment.

2Make a schedule for visits. If the reason of separation is that one of you is in the military, sometimes the schedule is not very predictable, so be sure to consider the element of surprise into your schedule. If the reason is school, then your visits will depend on the beginning and ending dates of the term. Other reasons could be accommodated the same way into a schedule.

3Send letters or gifts to each other. To receive something tangible from your lover and you know that he or she wrote the letter or chose the gift and wrapped it especially for you, gives a pleasurable feeling of belonging and certainty.

4Don’t let doubt pollute your thoughts. An example of such thoughts: one of my clients whose fiancé is in school at another State kept worrying that her fiancé might befriend other women while he’s away. Those types of thoughts usually ruin relationships, which must be built on trust and honesty.

Were you in a long distance relationship? What actions have you taken to keep it alive and vibrant?

Comments (6)

Great tips! I have been in several long-distance relationships... none of them worked out in the end, but we broke up once we were in the same place, not while we were apart or because of the distance. In this digital age, I think sending physical letters/gifts is even more important; it sets your communication apart from all the rest and shows that you're willing to take extra time and effort for your beloved. I think another key is to know when you'll be seeing each other again; it's much easier to say goodbye at the end of a visit when you know how long it will be until you see each other again.
    Thank you Amy for sharing your experience and your insights!
I think the biggest key to keeping the long distance relationship alive and vibrant is to always make the other person feel special! I have been in a number of failed ld relationships, and when the special factor slips away it's easy for the relationship to slip away as well. Thanks for a great post!
    Maryann, I agree with you. Making the one you love feel special all the time gives them certainty and significance. One reason for being special slips away used to be as the expression: "far from the eye, far from the heart!" I don't agree with this because of the so many ways technology has permitted seeing each other live anytime. Love can increase or decrease with the days, it's not constant all the time. We hang on when it's low and fly with it when it's high. Thank you Maryann for your comment!
i was not but have helped my friends during their phase of turbulence. i think the long distance relationship lies on strong bonds couples share and also the trust they have
    Absolutely Amar! It's the bond, trust, and respect they have for each other that makes their commitment and determination strong. Thank you!

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