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Does Your Fiancé or Husband Look at Other Women?

Do you get mad when your fiancé takes a peak at other women? Do you feel jealous and confront him?

One client called me on the phone huffing and puffing through the receiver that I couldn’t understand all her words. After calming her down she went on:

“We went to this really fancy restaurant to have a nice quiet dinner, and his eyes were not on me but on every beautiful woman who came in!” She panted. “He says he loves me but his action doesn’t prove it!” She started crying and it shows that she was emotionally shaken up by the message he’s giving her. She confronted him and he tried to defend himself by saying it is natural and normal for a man to look at other women. She did not buy his argument and continued, “You proposed and made a decision to build a family. This behavior will not work with me!” and dashed out of the restaurant without a word.

Reading many reports about this habit, there were two different views:

1It is natural for a man to look at other women since men are stimulated visually. It’s part of their primitive nature to search and scan as many qualified females as possible to ensure that their offspring survives.

2Even though they are stimulated visually but a man who loves and respects his mate would not scan other women.

One disturbing article I read on a website, actually encouraged men to look and find excuses to prolong the look if they got caught! This type of advice is very demeaning for women and for the one he chose to be his mate. The author of the article asked women to live with it and don’t bother the man with their petty arguments. It also stated that it’s the woman who is insecure and jealous and should get over it.

How would you address this matter?

If you are a man please state your view as well.

Comments (6)

I think that a woman should not react very emotionally, especially show that it hurts her, but she should just watch the man and evaluate his actions and not his words and based on his action made decision. The women are wiser than men. ;)
I would say something to my husband. People are every where, I am a people watcher so I know I look at other people. I think it is how you are looking at them that might be the problem and if there are other underlying issues.
It all depends on exactly what the man is doing. If he gives a glance at a beautiful woman, what do I care? Now if he is doing a huge stare like the image that you used at the top of the post, that would be different. But I have confidence in my husband, his love for me and our marriage, so a glance doesn't bother me..
though i am a guy, i also might get unsecured if my wife does so. but i feel the bonding of our relationship is so strong, that we just joke around such issues .
Great post subject and lovely site - When I was a single mom- I remember a teenager asked the fellow I was dating, "Why are you looking at other girls, when you have someone great already." Shortly, afterwards, I did break it off. My husband (of 20 yrs) has told me that he doesn't want to dis-respect me. And, I like that much better. Whew... I do understand it is their nature. And, so enjoy the way you've written about this :)
Whether something is in a person's "nature" or not, I believe he or she still has a choice. It's normal for anyone's eyes to be drawn to unique things; beautiful objects, people, art, or whatever. Sometimes we notice a person in a wheelchair or with a disability. Out of respect, most people don't stare. They might not be able to help noticing, but they can keep from staring. It's not a question of looking, it's a question of dwelling. I can notice a house for rent without moving into it. A man can notice an attractive woman without ogling her. If he lusts after her, it's a matter of his heart, not his eyes. A man should respect his wife or girlfriend enough to bring his gaze back to her.

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