It’s not two people from two different countries; it’s two people from the same country, same town, and even same district. When two people decide to commit to each other to live their lives together, they implicitly agree to accept all the surprises that they will discover: acceptable surprises and unacceptable ones.
She will discover that he doesn’t mind his buddies visit without advance notice as he was raised in an open door policy house where any family or friend can stop by whenever they please. Her family strictly required appointments before visits. He will discover that she likes to eat in bed while he was brought up with the rules that eating in bed is an unclean habit. Many examples of everyday doings can be a cause of confrontations and clashes. The majority of those clashes can be avoided by following the two rules mentioned below.
Why is this considered to be culture shock? Because each one of us has our own culture due to the environment we were raised in, the way we were taught, the different family backgrounds of our parents and how it affected our environment, and many other factors that shaped who each one of us are today.
There are two rules here to make sure that engaged couples know what they are up for:
1Don’t be shy to discuss your everyday habits with your fiancé. From the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep, tell him/her about how you like to do your routine rituals. Listen to their side next.
2Don’t hesitate to tell her/him you don’t like certain things and discuss those issues before marriage to find an agreeable solution for each one.
Other hints to help soften culture shocks in marriage:
1Describe an image from your life with your parents as a young child. Animate it with images, sounds, smells, and textures. Elaborate on the routines you used to love as well as the routines you despised.
2When visiting her/his family, if you noticed they conduct themselves different than what you’re used to with your family, don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. Accept them as who they are and don’t try to change them or you’ll be in for a battle.
3Give sincere gratitude and appreciation for the goodness you see in your fiancé and his family. Remember that he/she will appreciate you and your family as well.
4Don’t focus on the differences between your cultures and focus instead on your love for each other.